What is love?
by night flame miko
Summary: one-shot, possibly two-shot. A young Naruto contemplates something he struggles so hard to achieve. warning: slight dark/angs fic


_**What is Love?**_

**By: Night Flame Miko**

_AN: This story is a quick one shot for Naruto. Just hit me one day and my bloody muse wont leave me alone._

_Disclaimer: don't own Naruto or any of its characters yadda yadda…_

--

What is love?

I see people. I don't know them. But they all seem to have it…Sometimes I ask myself: why can't I have that? Why can't I have love? When I see someone hugging in the street, I wonder, what is it? What is affection? I tried it once, it didn't end well…it never does.

"_Go away demon!"_

"_Mom, the monster's attackin' me!"_

"_Leave my child alone, you horrible being!"_

But you learn…it's easier to pretend that everyone doesn't hate you. Or if they do, it's because you gave them a reason to. But still I see it, and still I wonder. Things like kissing and touching. It all comes so naturally to them. But what is it? Isn't a kiss just the touching of lips? What does it signify? Isn't hugging just two people clasping each other? Yet afterwards…theirs eyes, hold some kind of inner light…I want that light. Is it too much to ask? To have a bit of that fire? To be able to do these things which others make seem so easy…

"_Leave, foul beast! And don't ever touch me again!"_

"_What the hell are you doing? Go away, we don't want __your kind__ here!"_

"_Kill the demon! End it's miserable existence before it kills us all!"_

Then there are other kinds of love…or even affection. I've heard the word for it. Friend. But I haven't used it yet. Except for maybe the old man. Is he a friend? What makes a friend? Is it simply knowing someone? Is it talking to them? What gives them that title? And how do I get it? How do I get friends? Or even acknowledgement. To be able to say hello to someone without them glaring or saying hateful things…if I'm lucky…if I'm not so lucky…

"_Kick it! Kill it! End it's pitiful life!"_

"_100 yen says the demon dies after 50 blows!"_

Beatings were regular. Lucky I have a high pain tolerance. And I heal fast. That's lucky too, or else the old man would know about them; and then he would worry. As if being the Hokage isn't enough work without a demon orphan crying over every boo boo at every turn. If I keep looking at it like that, then I can say I'm always lucky. Lucky that because of the beatings and the hate, I have learnt to blend. At five years old I can already hide with the best of them, no matter what I am wearing or that my hair is bright enough to reflect the sun. Give me a shadow, and I'll disappear.

It's funny, but the old man said that I'm really smart for my age. But it doesn't matter, because who can I share my wisdom with but him? And he's a lot smarter than me; he's smarter and stronger than the whole village. Age doesn't matter. A saying I overheard a ninja once say…what was it?

"_If we're old enough to kill, we're old enough to drink."_

But that saying could work in many ways. Despite my age, if I tried, I could kill. Not necessarily a human, but I could kill an animal, or a child. So if I'm old enough to kill then I'm old enough to be beaten, at least I assume that's what the villagers believe. Age doesn't matter, it never does. I may only be five, but I've been hurt more times than I can count, and considering my apparent wisdom. That's probably a lot. But then again, what is violence? Is it another form of love? Can the villagers be showing their love for me by beating me? Is that the only way to show love to a demon?

"_You should be thanking us, you demon brat. We're putting you out of your misery. We don't want a thing like you here, and you don't want to be here! Do you?"_

_The kicks came faster and harder. The pain reverberating through his small frame._

"_Do you!?" He curled in on himself, but it didn't seem to work, nothing could protect him, nothing but himself. And what could he do? He was only five._

"_Eh?! DO you?! Answer me when I talk to you, demon brat!"_

So what is love?

--

_AN: Pretty dark. But it was stuck, and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it down. Hope it was ok. Please leave your opinions._


End file.
